..

.. I am here because in east, between one person and another ..

.. there is only light

..

Lost and found ..

This tale, just like a lot other tales, tells a story of a person who often resembles to someone we barely take note of unless of course he does something silly leading to a roll of laughter for the people around him. As always being the main character of our story he must either be incredibly insane or intensely intelligent unless he is a she in which case she can be surprisingly stupid. Perhaps it’s better to leave this matter unresolved here. As the story goes on, we all will get to spend our share of judgement on deciding his true nature.

So the camera starts rolling and our performer of the day sets out on his daily course of action. He is a joker. Not that kind of who has gained a lot of popularity in recent times by saying “Why so serious?”!! The world wasn’t so serious back then. Besides he is a mere on stage actor who gets his daily living by making people laugh at his acts. I don’t know how he got into this profession. Perhaps when he noticed the only way he gets noticed is by making people laugh at his own folly, only time he doesn’t become so boring. But here he is quite a popular. Though his pocket is still half-empty, his manager is digging a hell lotta coins. We don’t get to know him much apart from the time he makes a show out of himself. Hardly being intimate with anybody, he spends the rest of his day all by himself. Except for the occasions when he is called for. What he thinks or how he feels is never thought of. Rather the truth is he is far too aloof to express any human readable emotions. And if he tries to be any different, well he can’t!

It would be wrong if I don’t mention that one day when he just like any of us felt that mysterious something in his heart. But he is a nice guy. And as always that has been his problem. He never stops smiling for that we know. It’s hard to tell a difference otherwise. But that night when he was asleep, he left a small window open to his mind. I couldn’t resist but to peek. I was wondering how he forgot. Then I realized how many times I forget the same thing! An honest but dreadful mistake to make. And since it’s made, you have to deal with the consequences.

It was the last time I saw him sleeping. Didn’t know that when I was peeking. If anything, it was all dark. I guess I saw how he wants to be those other handsome actors who flirt with the women, make them laugh and thereby win thy heart. How his heart dawns upon beautiful dreams that he is afraid of dreaming. How hope is still lingering in his deepest darkest corner. I don’t know if he has seen “The Shawshank Redemption” where they say hope is a dangerous thing that can drive a man over the edge of sanity. But as it turns out, “Hope is a good thing. May be the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.”

I can’t tell you what happened after that night when he woke up. For he went missing. Some say, he went to find his redemption. I say he already found his. And if he is out there somewhere reading his story being told, I bet he is not afraid of being himself anymore. For all that worth, your soul is your own. And the awakening is destined to happen. Soon.

Few more hours ..

.. Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy ..

She doesn't know.

.. Sunshine in my eyes can make me fly ..

She might guess.

You wish you could find something warm cause you're shivering cold ..

A week ago ..

It has been one of those days when you find a symphony, an orchestra playing around you in every little things you do or that are happening around you. What could have been a mundane rain-marred day, with sitting-idly-at-home-doing-nothing kinda, turned out to be quite a joyful one, like watching-a-surreal-movie-that-bursts-open-your-heart-and-fills-with-joy. Well the movie is August Rush. I had that movie for awhile but didn't get to see it. I have this sort of weird habit of keeping movies for a later time that I know happen to be very pleasing. I guess I really save them for an opportune moment. And today I know it couldn't have come at a better time than this. Why I was embracing the mysterious something at the very beginning is because of this. I happened to go to one of the restaurant which I realized was not the best of choices to go and have lunch. But there I happen to catch glimpses of a trailer of the movie August Rush and what happened to be a momentary decision, I made my mind to watch this one tonight. Well I did and now I find myself quite glad that I was present there at that very moment. And even though I was overdone with food, that also came handy later on as it was still raining, and the road here is no short of being hell. So again I found myself with things falling at the right place at the right time (very rare with me) as I didn't have to go outside looking for food. The remaining of my lunch wasn't that delicious I agree but served me appetite nonetheless and also saved the pain to go out in that inclement weather.

I love music. Rather one of those who finds the chords striking from the inside of their soul. And yes I know those kinds are often called mental. And thank goodness for that. For had it not been for the madness, there would not have been anything to live for in this world. I have kinda developed a strong feelin' of likingness for this child actor Freddie. If you don't know him by name, you definitely must be knowing him by face. He is the Charlie, Peter Pan and tonight August Rush. A beautiful boy is also a dangerous thing for a man. Not in the same danger that his heart finds itself with a beautiful woman. But this one is more nostalgic. Watching him in all his acts, giving shape to your childhood dreams, you can't just stop reliving them. And the memories who happen to get forms and figures takes you to the neverland. As you find yourself lost in innocence and joy and adventures and life. Flowing all around you, rushing through your veins, glowing through your eyes, vibrating through your lips.

Some say watching good movies is like sipping ol' wine. Exquisite something that makes you warm, sets the tone and slowly you get to find answers to all the long unanswered questions as you get high. Well for me I got a cliched one.

Q: When do you know you are in love ?

I know. A million dollar question. But like most of the million dollar questions. You'll only get the answers when you ain't looking for one. For me I just picked up this song ..

It's the first thing you see
As you open your eyes
The last thing you say
As you're saying goodbye ..

But something inside you
Is crying, driving you on
'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you ..

A Sheepherder's Twilight

The little village lad was returning from the field with his cattle. He was looking at the setting sun all his way back to his hut paying no heed to his surroundings. As you can tell, his mind was wandering off to a distant town. Looking for someone who was absent today. His playmate. Who he was missing perhaps. If he knew how to miss someone that is. And the sunset did its best to remind him of the yester week, two of them, gigling and walking, through the dust and mud, with naked feet and hands clasped with one another ..

I like sunset. But today it was no short of being an extraordinary. It was like the sky was painted with the color of my mind. Spreading my loneliness around through it's dusky hues and fading light. A beautiful shadow of melancholy reaching out to the whole canvas that I can see through my window. And as I was watching. In few minutes I realized am not sad anymore.

[ From the evening post .. ]

Up she goes

Given my lifelong companionship with irony, this time around he is more generous to me. However as the curios becomes curioser, I wonder how a study of design patterns of software programming leads to impulses that tries to recognize the patterns of human mind instead. Also like many a time before, the world would have been simpler if the voice of silence could indeed be heard. If by a simple wish we can grant read access to our mind to someone else. So that, that someone can go through the maze in our head and find out if anything makes any sense. Find out something that is even unknown to us, hidden to everybody. But as it so happens, the key to that lost chest is bound to the touch of that one person. Find the one. And you'll find the thread that is running through the veins of your life. Surrender to him. Or her in my case. But can you risk it ? Well, it by all means can be dangerous. Leaving all the doors to your heart open. Wanting her eyes to see through. To reach out to your soul. Having nothing left with you but faith. And if you must fail, fail splendidly. I wish am not afraid.

It has started raining again. After a day or two. Flashes of lightning and the rain pouring all over from the red sky as always intoxicate me. As I indulge into going off to bed watching them playing a duet.

.. It's not always about giving one more chance. It's about feeling one more time. One more dream. One fleeting glance. And a face does appear before my closing eyes.

.. Come Josephine in my flying machine
And it's up she goes
Up she goes ..